Monday, January 17, 2011
good evening,
how are we? i am in the mood to write on here, but i have no idea what i want to write.
i am in a bizarre mood this evening. i found myself become upset this afternoon at work and still am. i have absolutely no understanding as to why i might feel like this. i just feel like a whiney bitch really and now i feel sick, cause i really dislike feeling like this.
being like this reminds me of maths in year 8 or 9, i can't remember the exact year. but my friend rebecca was depressed and started crying one lesson and we both had no idea why. she told me she always used to cry and she had no idea why, she just would. it made me upset because i couldn't do anything to cheer her up. now i understand that sometimes you're just in these moods and to get out of it usually requires sleep. perhaps that is why, because i started work at 7 this morning and i'm just over tired.
also, i miss someone terribly and am once again confused. i have written about this person plenty of times before. they just have some way with me and i don't really know why i like them so much. well, actually why i love them so much. it is the first person who i have said i love you to and that was in reply to them saying they love me. it is the best feeling in the world. apart from being apart. distance is slightly killing me. i really dislike it... probably about 10 and half dislikes!! < with a couple of exclamation marks. it is the worst feeling when two people are in love and they can't actually share that love because they live 13 hours and 20 minutes away from each other in two different states. it hurts even more so when you see that they are hurting because they can't physically see you. they try to push you away, so you have to fight really hard for them not to let you go and then feel even worse because they continuously tell you that they want more than just words. i suppose i should just do something about this instead of sooking and writing and thinking about it all the time, but it's rather hard to just drop everything and leave. i so would except my parents would probably kill me. also i guess i am scared because what if they have already moved on and it's awkward slash isn't what we both expected. but then i think well, what if it is totally magical and the best thing that has ever happened. better than the conversations we've held that only we can have because we can be who we are with each other. complete bliss because that is how they make me feel most of the time when i'm not pining for them haha (: i just sit here and wish that they'll mysteriously turn up at my door, even though they don't know my address. in my dreams! because they are allllllllllllways in my dreams (:
anyway i need to go finish cooking my dinner, steak.
delish.
(:
how are we? i am in the mood to write on here, but i have no idea what i want to write.
i am in a bizarre mood this evening. i found myself become upset this afternoon at work and still am. i have absolutely no understanding as to why i might feel like this. i just feel like a whiney bitch really and now i feel sick, cause i really dislike feeling like this.
being like this reminds me of maths in year 8 or 9, i can't remember the exact year. but my friend rebecca was depressed and started crying one lesson and we both had no idea why. she told me she always used to cry and she had no idea why, she just would. it made me upset because i couldn't do anything to cheer her up. now i understand that sometimes you're just in these moods and to get out of it usually requires sleep. perhaps that is why, because i started work at 7 this morning and i'm just over tired.
also, i miss someone terribly and am once again confused. i have written about this person plenty of times before. they just have some way with me and i don't really know why i like them so much. well, actually why i love them so much. it is the first person who i have said i love you to and that was in reply to them saying they love me. it is the best feeling in the world. apart from being apart. distance is slightly killing me. i really dislike it... probably about 10 and half dislikes!! < with a couple of exclamation marks. it is the worst feeling when two people are in love and they can't actually share that love because they live 13 hours and 20 minutes away from each other in two different states. it hurts even more so when you see that they are hurting because they can't physically see you. they try to push you away, so you have to fight really hard for them not to let you go and then feel even worse because they continuously tell you that they want more than just words. i suppose i should just do something about this instead of sooking and writing and thinking about it all the time, but it's rather hard to just drop everything and leave. i so would except my parents would probably kill me. also i guess i am scared because what if they have already moved on and it's awkward slash isn't what we both expected. but then i think well, what if it is totally magical and the best thing that has ever happened. better than the conversations we've held that only we can have because we can be who we are with each other. complete bliss because that is how they make me feel most of the time when i'm not pining for them haha (: i just sit here and wish that they'll mysteriously turn up at my door, even though they don't know my address. in my dreams! because they are allllllllllllways in my dreams (:
anyway i need to go finish cooking my dinner, steak.
delish.
(:
Monday, January 10, 2011
You're alright but I'm here, darling, to enjoy the party.
hello - martin solveig ft. dragonette good song that one (Y)
so it seems like i haven't written here in a long time. so just to catch you up it is now 2011 and it already feels like it is the middle of the year. ew. as i walk through the shops at the moment the realisation hits me as i see the back to school sale signs. no more school for me! i have already started working, it is now my second week and i am still so nervous. i am currently in training and it's not very welcoming when people training you tell you that you're job is very hard and strenuous at times and is also a very unorganised area. oh great.
but it should be good, because i've met the people i'm working with and had a week in there with one of the girls who used to do it. besides, they continue to tell me that they're right out side my door if i need help.
so my friend mark, who is into singing and plays guitar etc he keeps telling me to learn bass cause i have one so we can make a band and put on our own gigs haha. but i seriously cannot play any instruments i try but i am far too uncoordinated, which is awfully annoying. i went over to his house on friday night and we were jamming, which is incredibly brave on my part, because i usually don't sing for anyone like that. but there we were chilling on his bed singing juno songs as he strummed away on his acoustic guitar. it was pretty awesome, i've been wanting to do that with someone for a very long time and to be honest it did measure up to how i thought it would feel. but still i feel so awkward and shy around him. its so weird im not usually like this, but just everything to do with him in person i get so nervous.. but like on msn or text i am fine. probably because there is so much expectation from our mothers, ohwell.
i cant really think of much else to say really. besides if i did keep typing i would probably just ramble on haha.
anywayyyyyy till next time.
take care deary's
(:
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