e.

i want to run out the front, jump in my car and drive fourty minutes south and search the whole of gc for you. i tried last night and failed but i'm willing to try all week long. maybe it's a sign that i didn't see you last night and that you texted me just as i arrived home. maybe i'm not meant to see you now? or that was the whole point. that i was meant to go away and think about it? come back and make it really worth something. but then again thats a false reality, it isn't real. none of it is.. and maybe i'm meant to be kept away.

i wish i could just make up my mind. i've been listening to the same song over and over. it's making me sad because it used to make me so happy and when i was driving in gc this song came on and i would get so excited. walking through the mosh at the beach party i would just picture you. walking across the street near maccas i'd picture seeing you and jumping on you. seeing girls with guys i'd picture you and me. it's so unfair. i finally told myself and made myself believe that i wouldn't see or hear from you this week and i was home away from that but then you have to text me, dont you? though to be honest to myself you're probably off with your mates hitting up the parties, hitting on girls.

probably forgotten all about me.
oh well.




if only you would "stop stealing my heart away".