love

L is for the way you look at m

O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore and

Love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two

Two in love can make it

Take my heart and please don't break it

Love was made for me and you

x 2

so for some reason i started singing this song today, it was totally bizarre.

i think it was because i was watching wild child with natasha richardson (rip) in it and then it made me think about her in parent trap (the one with lindsay lohan) and i kind of like that movie and the song is played in it.

but then again i didn't want to be singing this song/ have it stuck in my head all day because love reminds me of someone. and that someone in particular makes me very upset lately.

like okay i can be a very emotional person at times especially at night because im usually the only one up and its dark etc. <>

so, we were just chatting one night and we're talking about his social life which is totally awesome and actually existent but yeh (p.s. he doesn't live near me) (said he wouldn't have a girlfriend because the people where he is from are not girlfriend types [sluttly]) and then i was having a whinge about how i never do anything because im always working and other reasons and then he promised me he would always be here for me. you probably don't understand how much this meant to me. we would also speak about how we're both going to schoolies at the same time and we should see eachother. anyway months and months and months had passed and things had been changing he got a girlfriend and we never spoke much anymore, especially because he was on the social networking site now. this made me sad. it also made me feel like whenever i spoke to him i would be annoying him, which i probably was. you know the sort of thing how you're always the one to say hello <>

well i felt crap because i thought he was the most incredible thing ever, and we just had this good friendship. ever since he's joined this social networking site, which has i.m incorporated he never comes on msn anymore, like actually never. i wait up so late and let me tell you its a complete waste of time. so yeah one night i come home from an actual good time at work which is surprising and he is online on the site, so i say hello first once again and get some shit halfarsed type of conversation which is only fuelled because i told him i needed to talk to him about schoolies. anyway so we're talking and my mood just keeps changing until im very upset. this is also because he doesn't reply until like over an hour, no exaggeration. and then dad starts being annoying saying he'll turn the computer off. so i go to bed and talk to him through the net on my phone. and he just wont talk to me anymore and im falling asleep. so i tell him to delete me, why? because i am an absolute dickhead! but i suppose i thought if he wasnt there it would be like he didn't exist at all, him and all the memories and thoughts would disappear. he'd done it so many times before. so the next day im occupied and then in the evening i check and he actually deleted me. i mean come on why would you do that? i couldn't believe he ACTUALLY DELETED ME, i was so crushed! i wanted desperately to die in a hole.

so now i have told all of you, which will be noone. and even if there is someone i have wasted your time and im very sorry.

p.s. i went to post this but all of this stuff appeared and then i deleted some and so a huge chunk is missing and i cannot be arsed to re-type so meh, apologies once again.

it is so late and im just making myself sad again, i really need to move on and stop being such a loser. ohwell once this stupid dog stops barking i shall be asleep.

p.p.s i love blogging because you can type anything at all and don't have a care in the world whilst doing, and you don't care who reads it. i pretty much know im talking to myself. its freeeaaaking fantastic!!

goodnight
(: